Fitting In

As you get older, you have two paths you can follow. One of them is marked by a curiosity and sense of adventure to try out new ideas and stay current with developments. The other is to want to force the world to comply with those elements that you are comfortable with. I think that is the source of the concept of "crochety". Since I adhere to the rule that you should never be two bad things at once and being older is the first one, I try to stay pliable and understanding of "differences" or "changes" that I didn't initiate. Being old and demanding is the fastest way to earn your "crotchety" badge. I have no wish to do that. As a matter of fact, I now find myself trying to challenge my comfort level to keep capable of adapting to the important and exciting others might suggest. In a time when we all want everyone to think the way we do, that is an interesting position for a geezer. I am a lucky man that the divine woman I am married to is the same. It is really easy to "not understand" some of the ravings that make regular circulation on social media. In our age group, it is a real challenge particularly for two people that choose to live amongst younger, creative, and energetic people, rather than those our own age. On this past vacation, we had ample opportunities to test our willingness to keep still and just let people talk and act differently from what our particular sentiment might be. With the political climate being what it is and the pressure presented by the battle created between science and political semantics and other mischief, we really found it best to keep still. We did that with both sides of the political spectrum. We had long ago decided what we believed would be the proper path to stay healthy and to cast our vote so it really no longer mattered what the rhetoric was. The old saying that you should never try to teach a pig to sing because it wastes your time and annoys the pig was certainly applicable. We made it work because all we had to do to fit in was stay silent. We were tested on both ends of the spectrum. The purpose of the fall trip is obviously to leave our comfort zone in the central city for the woods and in some cases, the deep woods. We did a transition through Chattanooga, obviously a city but not quite as large as Tampa. We fit in just fine there for the places we went. We left there and traveled to a cabin so far back in the woods that our outdoor professional friend Jen Ripple, no stranger to "far out", had a hard time finding us. The peace was amazing. But, not so far away was that Mecca of all Southern Meccas, Pigeon Forge with its nod to everything "family oriented". As a parent I never thought that taking my kid to an attraction that looked like an upside-down building or one that was designed around a major catastrophe was a great option to the Great Smoky Mountains that was right next door. The pursuit of peace is not the same of us older folks. I love and loved being a parent but it just somehow seems like it was different. We are old enough to remember when Disney wasn't done yet. So, we have had our share of "family" entertainment. But we were definitely out of our element in the middle of attraction after attraction. How did we fit in? We didn't stay long. We opted for a very crowded drive through the park and then returned to the solitude afforded by our cabin in the woods where we had a close encounter with a mother bear and her cub. Luckily is wasn't too close since we are old enough to smell like lunch to any apex predator but it was certainly exciting enough. We stayed in the cabin and the bear stayed outside and we enjoyed each other's company in silence. We left the solitude of the cabin for the bustle of the Cabbage Town neighborhood in the middle of Atlanta. We found our solitude above a bakery that was not too far from the Atlanta Beltline, their massive and successful urban trail. We walked everyday and encountered that particular energy of the street that keeps people engaged with the drama and the reality of the sad fact we still have people who feel anyone other than their own "kind" (their words not ours) are not quite as equal. We do not believe so but there are enough in our age group and demographic that make it seem like all of us do. How did we fit in? We smiled and greeted everyone with warmth and sincerity. That is not a tough thing for us. We did discover places that it was better for us not to be in at certain times of the day but we have those in Tampa and the same process works. Don't make yourself a target or a witness. We never felt threatened and we did have some valuable dialogue and discovered some terrific displays of art and poetry that absolutely have the potential to lead to peace. That was insightful and encouraging. I know there are people that will argue that we should stand up for our principals. Believe me. We do. We just choose the theater for that piece of drama and the best is that shutting up once in awhile and listening to what the other side has to say is very insightful. Fitting in is not automatic. You have to work at it and be reasonable. It's not too much to ask.

Chattanooga, TN